parental vow that is sure to be broken once i actually have kids (however that's going to happen), because they'll inevitably find out and will love the forbidden to spite me #1
no wiggles. sorry, honey, that's the way it is. let's listen to raffi, okay? nice, grandfatherly raffi? or mozart? mozart will make you smarter! you still want wiggles, huh? mommy can sing the wiggles for you! toot toot, chugga chugga, big red car! because the wiggles invaded mommy's brain! and replaced all sorts of interesting things? like steinbeck plots? with their songs! oh, baby, don't cry. you really like those happy, goofy, earnest-yet-creepy, seemingly-oblivious-of-double-entendre* old men? ow! now, how many times have i told you? we don't hit mommy! ow! ah! gah, fine. let's go to walmart.

*dear wiggles: why "do the monkey"? "dance" is so much more precise than, and just as easy to sing as "do"! come on and dance the monkey! see? it's better! unless, of course, you actually do mean "have sex with the monkey," in which case "do" is rhythmically superior, and the ambiguity might ward off some nasty allegations. but do you really think that's appropriate for young children?